I had my dark days, those days when I drank my “sorrows” away. Nights would be spent with a bottle of vodka, tequila, or whiskey. Mornings would be spent staring at the ceiling and asking myself “what now?” I’ve been through a lot. Tough times.
As much as I want to say that yoga “fixed” me, I won’t really know cause I was not practicing yet during those times. But let me tell you a little secret that everyone should know and believe..
YOUR WORTH IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT.
As is, where is, you are perfect. It took me almost 3 years and a lot of tears to tell myself that I don’t need fixing.
January came in like a breeze. Time flies so fast. By May, I’ll be taking my first step to my yoga dream. But before all that, I need to stop eating junk food. December days with all the partying and get-together made this health nut girl addicted to sugar. I was assigned to work at a place where chocolates are tax-free thus cheaper. Is buying 5 bags of chocolates too much? At that time, I think it’s just enough. Those Hershey’s Drops, the cookies n’ cream one, they are made of rainbows, glitters, and everything right in this world. It is my little guilty pleasure. Maybe not that little cause I finished the whole bag.
My carefree days with bags of chocolates ended Tuesday morning. My Ashtanga teacher told me “stop eating fattening food. it’s all coming out” while I’m in marichyasana. After class, we talked about the food arrangement at the teacher training. Meals would be served twice a day and all vegetarian. I’m like are you serious?!?!?! I know the vegetarian part but twice a day omg help me survive that. He told me that “your body does not need that much food” and something about you need fresh air and sunlight. Somehow, I feel much more excited cause it’s a good break from the city.
But now, what to do with bags of chocolates? One piece a day probably won’t hurt.
P.S. He also mentioned that there were poses that I can do before effortlessly but now there’s a struggle. Time to eat healthy again.
Have you seen the movie Carrie? Well, I did and it changed me.
I don’t normally watch movies but curiosity got me with this Carrie flick that I actually suggested going on a movie date on a Saturday. I’m sure you’re all familiar with the story - girl with telekinesis gets bullied, prom night turned into one bloody disaster. After an hour and half of gore everywhere, I went out of the cinema feeling that I wasted my money on some lame movie and feeling bad that I still eat meat.
There was this scene where they killed a pig for its blood for the revenge/prank one of the bullies was pulling. They hit the pig with a sledgehammer. I actually felt bad for the pig, so bad that I thought of what’s really happening in real life. To be honest, I’m no expert on this. I didn’t do any research on how they kill pigs for us to have pork chops on our dinner table. It might not be that brutal but I’m guessing it’s not far from it.
If you all don’t know yet, I am from the Philippines. I know we’re all over the news right now cause of Haiyan but I’ll probably share a different post on that. Anyway, I have friends here who have been to a slaughterhouse. They were telling me how sad/scary it is to hear the animals cry out as they’re being killed. My heart couldn’t handle that. Nobody deserves such cruelty. (Again, this is not my personal experience so it might not be as accurate but please do share if you know things.)
With that, I’m thinking of going vegan. Eating vegetables and fruits is not a problem. I have people telling me that I am such a herbivore. But not being able to eat bacon is just unimaginable. How do vegans do it? I’m thinking of going vegetarian first before going all out. Decisions, decisions.